Summer is roasting. The pool is now a hot tub; there is no escape from the heat. My air conditioning is turned down to about 68. The tomato plants on our back porch are turning an ugly, dried-up brown. Grapes and goldfish are the only things keeping me alive.
What is one supposed to do?! I guess I could maybe buy a plane ticket to northern Canada. It wouldn’t be that hard…. for me. Maybe I could hop a northbound train and make my way to Maine! Ocean breezes sound good. And of course, there’s always diving. The cold tub.
The cold tub is notorious; no one can sit in it for longer than 10 seconds. If you do, you risk hypothermia, extreme cramps and pain with a number of side effects, and maybe death. Who knows. I’ve never been in it longer than 5 seconds sitting down. You can’t get back in the water after doing it, either. Any part of you that has touched the cold water (arms, feet, legs, hands, etc.) will sting. Not sting… more like feel as if millions of needles have simultaneously jabbed you and you’ve lost all sense of thermal control. Which makes you feel like you’re on fire on the outside and frozen within. Not. Good.
Maybe I just have to make a new way to be cold. I have many, many ideas…. here comes the Red Neck Cold Tub!!!
hoooooowww bout going to like a bestbuy and mooching off their industrial A/C system?
http://suburbanconnoisseurs.wordpress.com/
great opening paragraph: nice semicolon–and nice hyphen, too. and then you top it off with such hyperbole: “grapes and goldfish are the only thing keeping me alive.”
now that’s good writing.
Two problems, theironwang. One, I’m not sixteen yet, nor do I have a source of transportation. Two, my parents hold a grudge for a bad shopping experience recently.
@ hobo
I don’t even know what a hyperbole is, ha ha.